


Gasping Breaths and Fading Wishes

by AngstAndAnxiety



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin
Genre: attack on titan - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstAndAnxiety/pseuds/AngstAndAnxiety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reality and dreams clash within your mind more often than you'd like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gasping Breaths and Fading Wishes

Your name is Marco Bodt and you want something different.

 

 

You wish the world could change right and left in ways that alter and morph your future and present being into at least something better than this, but that isn't how it works. It's never how it works.

 

You were utterly alone, and helpless as a blast of co2 explodes behind the small of your back. Cables dash forward toward every direction, pulling you forward as adrenaline clings tight to your built frame like the leather trainee jacket you were issued on the first month of training, with the buttons clasped too tightly. No matter how horribly chaffed your thighs are from the stained metal gear clattering against them or the belted harness rubbing the inner portion raw, you keep going, screeching out your battle cry till your lungs feel as if they'll pool with fresh blood, as a close friend of yours with a rather honest personality would do.

 

You've been running like this for a while now, with one of the beasts you were trained to strike down, right on the back of your heels. It gained speed, with loud groans and unrecognizable sounds trailing from its terrifyingly deformed lips, yet it kept almost an alarmingly safe distance that lulled you into a state of false hope.

 

Though as odd of a time this is, your mind begins to wonder into a familiar fantasy.

 

What if instead of dashing for your life at high speeds, you'd be running in a simple game of tag with your dearest friends.

 

What if instead of bleeding cuts, blackened nails, and bruised hands, they'd be soft and unscathed as if you've never put in a hard day's worth of work in your life.

 

The tanned stone buildings are leading into a small clearing now, though they are dangerously far apart, making it impossible to stick to one side of the aged brick with the speed you managed. There’s no chance of your gear being of use if you keep perusing forward, as the wires would only fall forward into nothingness. Right and left were striked out options from the moment it came into view. You really can’t turn back at this point; the small fans at your sides spun too swiftly at this point and turning back would be a downright suicidal move without a partner to aid in a strike against the morphed beast.

 

It felt as if the blades in each palm gained a small added weight to them with each passing moment.

 

‘Don’t look back; it’ll only strike you down in the end.’ You think, even though your widened eyes itched to gain a single glance of what your hunter looked like as it sought out to take you down with every ounce of ambition it held. Its mouth was most likely extending at this point, with dulled, doll dribbled, teeth, demanding a single bite of the lightly tanned flesh that clung to your muscles.

 

What if instead of pounding hearts stocked with the heavy, molten sense of fear, your stomach would be filled with pleasantly tickling butterflies of nervousness to tell a pretty girl you like her.

 

What if instead these people you've met and become so accustomed to seeing, would be safe, happy, and unmarked by the ongoing war.

 

You keep forcing yourself forward, almost mindlessly allowing the gas tanks on your sides to run dangerously low with each spurt putting you only a simple few feet further than your distant predator. It makes you wonder though, when did you start to sweat? It takes a moment to realize that your freckled cheeks aren’t coated with sweat.

 

What if the deceased soldiers in all troops would be here today, laughing and smiling as if this whole world was just a bad dream that you’d dreamt on after watching a horror film with close pals.

 

What if instead of raised walls, the world would be free to explore and be a part of as time would become obsolete.

 

A strange sense of silence swirled around you, leaving only the sound of cables sprinting forward and compressed gas releasing to accompany you. It felt unsettling, and left your footing a little bit off with biting nervousness. It felt almost out of body to hear your heart thrum this quickly, rattling your ribcage until it physically hurt.

 

As a soldier though, you were prepared to die in the sake of aiding humanity in its cause. Even in the first day of training, your commander made sure that everyone in your squad would be aware of your likely impending doom. The frightened children though did what anyone else would have expected; they pushed forward and denied the fear of a very possible outcome.

 

What if.

 

What if.

 

_What if._

 

It was a fun way to think, to offer unrealistic hope to the soldiers and citizens of every district, of a new future filled with nothing more than safety and freedom outside of the walls, but you knew better. It reminds almost you of how Armin would talk while the two of you would check over the gear and equipment together daily. His expression would show his excitement and hope to venture the vast, fairytale –like lands outside of the 50 meter barrier that symbolized safety to most, in the future. For a while you even believed him, but now reality has slapped you across the face with a frown that scolded you for believing in something so ridiculous.

 

You didn't even think when a deranged giant appeared just in front of you as if out of nowhere, or when pain exploded into your side as a drowning splatter of red. In fact, you didn't feel it at all. The metal clattering loudly to the ground seemed just so distant, but you could only think about how you'll never see the brighter day in that fairytale land, as your eyes fell shut heavily for the last time.

 

Your name is Marco Bodt, and you did not assist humanity in striking down the titans.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first piece of writing that i've posted out of lack of confidence, so here it is! Feel free to critique and whatnot as any of you please.


End file.
